Eh, they’re no’ here!
They used to be here, but they … went away … somewhere. They said at the time it was really important, but I can’t remember where it was. If you leave me your email address, I’ll be sure to let you know when they come back.
Are you still here. The lights are going out in five minutes. You don’t want to be here when the lights go out, I’m no’ joking. You have been warned.